April 2009: The Disappearance of Christine

Those of us in the transgender community are often attacked by people who do not understand who we are. Last year was the deadliest on record for transgender people who were murdered here in America. Examples are Lawrence King who was only 14 years old when he was shot and killed by a classmate in Port Hueneme, California, in February; Angie Zapata, 18, of Greeley, Colorado; or two murders that happened in November: Duanna Johnson in Memphis, Tennessee, possibly murdered by the same policemen who had beaten her earlier this year; and Lateisha Green from Syracuse, New York, killed by a friend to whom she had confided her transgender status. There are many more, too many more. And it happens all over the world. last year saw killings in Turkey, Chile, and in lots of other countries.

I would not hesitate to say that being transgender is one of the toughest things a person has to live with. This is primarily a fact not just because of the dichotomy between the mind and body of a TG person, but because of the reactions of those they come in contact with. How many others have to worry every day about having violence thrust upon them, simply for being who they are? It is similar for transgenders today as it was a century ago for blacks in the South who were killed just for being born with the “wrong” color of skin. We must always be on the lookout to those around us who may take offense by our mere presence. And their offense could take the form of simply staring, laughter, verbal abuse, or worse. Much worse as was found out by Lawrence, Angie, Duanna, and Lateisha.

In attempts to get others to understand ,we do many things to help educate people that this is simply a condition we are born with. No different from your natural eye color, or predisposition to be who you are in life. Some people may go so far as to call it a birth defect, relating it to congenital heart disease, autism, blindness, or any number of other afflictions that people everywhere suffer from. This is probably the most accurate because it explains exactly that this is something we have absolutely no control over. It happened in the womb during gestation. There was no conscious choice involved on our part to be transgender, it just is.

Many people want to call this a choice. It makes them feel better about their hatred of the unknown. A rallying cry from the religious community to justify their discrimination and violence against gay, lesbian, and transgender people is often, “God does not make mistakes!” We could easily counter by saying that they are absolutely correct. I am not a mistake. This is the way I was supposed to be. Instead of accepting that, they will counter by saying that it is the devil’s work, that we have succumbed to his temptation. It may sound silly, but this argument has been used against me personally an uncounted number of times.

We try our hardest to get across this basic point: Being transgender is not a choice. It is us, it is who we are, nothing more, nothing less.

But what of those who profess to be transgender and may even go through transition, but then for whatever reason go back to being their birth gender? Doesn’t this “prove” that being TG is a choice--one that can even be reversed if the person so desires? In actuality, what it proves is that for some of us transition can be such a painful process that we may finally make the decision that it may not be worth it. That the hatred and difficulties we encounter every day may be too much to bear. This appears to be what happened with a famous transgender case that occurred about 20 months ago, that of Christine Daniels, formerly Mike Penner, of the Los Angeles Times Sports Desk. Christine made huge headlines across the country when she announced her transition. I had the great pleasure to know Christine, and she helped me immeasurably during my own transition. But due to personal reasons we may never fully know, Christine recently decided to return to her former life as Mike.

I would never fault Christine/Mike for what they did. We can only wish the best for each and every person. However, because of her notoriety, her case may serve as a new barrel of ammunition for those who wish to trounce on anyone who is transgender. I can only reiterate that no, this is not a choice, and just because someone may have to return to their previous gender does not alter that fact. Please accept us for who we are. And for Christine, now again Mike, please know that there are a lot of people out here that care about you and that you will always have friends, no matter where your journey in life may take you.

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Note from Michelle:

From January 23 to March 27, 2009, I was in the hospital and nursing home due accidents that left me with two broken legs. Because of this, there were no Sex Ed 101 columns for February or March, 2009

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January 2009: A Cold Winter's Night

Many areas of the United States have been hit by extremely cold weather. For many, this means snuggling with your wife or husband by a warm and cozy fireplace, secure in the knowledge that you have each other to protect and comfort. This was especially true as the holiday season progressed. What better way to celebrate than with a white Christmas? The image is one of peace and harmony, love and joy. Children rip open their presents, have a warm and filling dinner, then leap out into the cool weather to play. For those of us a bit older, it brings back precious memories, while those just living it today are forming ones that will last a lifetime.

As you might guess, the wonderful picture in your mind from what I have just written is far from the truth for many people. With the economy in the dumps, more and more people must go without. Retailers report the lowest holiday sales in decades. For a very unfortunate few, they never have to worry about buying presents or paying rent or mortgage. These people have already lost it all and survive only by living on the streets, hoping that others may help. There are many professional organizations that are there to do just that: the Red Cross, Goodwill, Salvation Army, United Way, and Catholic Relief Services, to name a few major ones. Places full of people whose sole purpose is altruistic assistance for those less fortunate than themselves.

If we have the spare change, or need a tax deduction come tax time, a donation to any of these groups is something that lifts our hearts because we know we have helped them to do their good work for all. You would think that, but it is not always true.

As a member of a marginalized segment of society, the transgender community, I know too well that charity is not always forthcoming when it is most needed. My personal story has been one of hope and friendship. So many people stepped up and gave me their hand when I most needed them. My family and most all of my friends were there, and still remain so today. I count myself as lucky beyond belief because so many like me are not so lucky. Case in point is Jennifer Gale of Austin, Texas.

On the evening of December 16, Jennifer sought out shelter from the bitter cold. Usually she just found a place on the streets to sleep, but she knew this night would be worse that usual, so she went to the Salvation Army homeless shelter in Austin. Due to the fact that she was a transgender woman, the Salvation Army said they would be glad to take her in, but only if she agreed to be housed amongst the male population of the shelter and to use her original male name and manner of dress. That meant she would have to sleep, shower, and use the bathroom with men, and not be allowed to be with other women such as herself. This is the way too many people, especially those coming from a very religious point of view such as the Salvation Army, see a transgender person. For you women reading this, how would you feel if this is what they proposed to do to you under these circumstances? You would rightly be scared of what might happen to you. I know I would be. Jennifer was too. She had no choice but to return to the cold streets and seek shelter where she could. At 7:30 am the following morning, emergency services were called when a passerby found Jennifer on the steps outside the First English Lutheran Church. She had died during the night, frozen from the cold, her heart unable to keep her going any longer.

Jennifer was a homeless transgender woman who died simply because of the transphobia and homophobia too many people still harbor. On a personal level that is one thing, but for a charitable organization that can (and in this case, did) hold the actual life of a person in their hands. This is simply wrong and cannot be justified under any circumstances.

Jennifer was also not someone who was just a statistic. She was an amazing woman who tried to change the system until the last. She had served her country in the United States Marine Corp, yet after transition was left out on the streets with nothing. Even then, she tried on numerous occasions to run for political office in Austin, including the School Board, Austin City Council and the Mayor’s office, to which she had again filed papers to run in 2009. During the holiday season she was known to locals for her Christmas caroling each year. Instead of celebrating her diversity, her dedication, and her life, she was left to die alone in the freezing cold.

I hope that the life of Jennifer Gale, and the manner in which she left us, might give all of our readers pause the next time they decide to drop their change in a red bucket.

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